Full Circle Healing: Q&A with Sara Miley on IFS, Self-Compassion, and Thriving in Everyday Life

Healing after trauma isn’t just about recovering from the past — it’s about learning how to feel safe, whole, and joyful in the present. So often, our patterns in love and life are shaped by old wounds and protective parts of ourselves that learned how to survive, not necessarily how to thrive. True healing begins when we turn inward with curiosity and compassion, learning to understand these parts instead of fighting them.

To explore this deeper journey of coming home to yourself, I spoke with Sara Miley, an IFS-Informed Trauma Healing and Lifestyle Design Coach and the founder of Full Circle Wellspring. Drawing from her lived experience and professional expertise, Sara helps trauma survivors reconnect with self-trust, joy, and a sense of safety in everyday life. In this Q&A, she shares how Internal Family Systems (IFS) can transform the way we relate to ourselves, why self-compassion is at the heart of lasting healing, and how we can all begin to design lives that truly support our wellbeing.

Can you introduce yourself and tell us a bit about what Inspired you to become an IFS-Informed Trauma Healing & Lifestyle Design Coach?

"My name is Sara Miley, and I’m an IFS-Informed Trauma Healing and Lifestyle Design Coach and the founder of Full Circle Wellspring. My work centers on helping trauma survivors not only heal but learn how to thrive — to reconnect with joy, safety, and self-trust in everyday life.

My inspiration for this work comes from my lived and learned experience. I know what it’s like to survive trauma and spend years trying to “fix” myself through sheer willpower or achievement, only to realize that real healing isn’t about perfection — it’s about coming home to yourself. When I discovered Internal Family Systems (IFS), something clicked: all those parts of me that were fighting for control or hiding out in shame were actually trying to protect me. That understanding changed everything.

Now, I use that same approach with my clients — blending trauma education, nervous system regulation, IFS, resources, and lifestyle design to help them build lives that support their healing and thriving! My passion is showing people that wholeness and everyday wellbeing even while still healing is possible.

What is your mission with Full Circle Wellspring?

My mission with Full Circle Wellspring is to help survivors know that healing is possible — and not just in theory, but in real, embodied ways. I guide people in reconnecting with the parts of themselves that learned to survive through fawning, freezing, or over-functioning, and help them build new patterns rooted in safety, authenticity, and self-compassion.

At its heart, my work is about restoring balance — body, mind, and spirit — so people can move beyond surviving and start designing lives that actually feel good to live in. I use a blend of IFS-informed coaching, nervous system education, tools, and lifestyle design to help clients rewire how they relate to stress, boundaries, and self-worth.

Full Circle Wellspring exists to remind survivors that thriving is not the absence of trauma — it’s the integration of it. Healing doesn’t mean erasing your past; it means expanding your capacity for joy, connection, and meaning right now. That’s the full circle coming home to self that I want every client to experience.

How do you help those dealing with Trauma as a coach compared to what you have seen traditional therapy's approach be to trauma healing?

That’s such an important question — and one I love unpacking. Traditional therapy often focuses on processing the past — understanding what happened, naming patterns, and making meaning from the trauma story. That work is powerful and necessary. Coaching, on the other hand, allows me to meet people in the present moment — where those patterns are still living in the body, influencing choices, relationships, and self-perception. My approach as a trauma-trained coach is about helping clients build capacity in the nervous system and learn practical regulation tools so they can safely experience life, not just talk about it.  My clients learn to regulate through trigger activations, while also healing the tethers that hold them back.  

Because I’m IFS-informed, I help clients identify and befriend their protective parts — the ones who people-please, avoid, or overachieve — with compassion instead of shame. From there, we co-create a lifestyle that supports healing: movement, rest, boundaries, and meaningful connection. My clients learn not only why they respond the way they do, but also how to design lives that feel safe enough to expand.

In short, therapy helps you understand your story; my coaching helps you live differently because of it.

What are some strategies that you use to help your clients recognize triggers?

Recognizing triggers starts with learning the language of the nervous system — that’s always where we begin. Many survivors have spent years overriding their body’s signals in order to function, so part of my work is helping them rebuild that internal connection. We do this through simple awareness practices like tracking body sensations, breath patterns, and emotional shifts throughout the day — not to judge them, but to get curious about what the body is trying to say.

Once clients start noticing their cues, we explore parts language using IFS. For example, instead of saying “I got triggered,” we might say, “A part of me felt unsafe.” That small shift invites compassion and helps the client see that the reaction isn’t all of them — it’s a protective part trying to help. From there, I teach grounding and regulation tools like orienting, resourcing, or breath anchoring, which they can use in real time when they notice those cues arise.

The goal isn’t to eliminate every single trigger — it’s to build awareness and capacity so they no longer feel hijacked by them. When clients can name what’s happening with kindness, they start reclaiming choice in moments where they used to feel powerless.

What are the most common ways, if any (common), that you have seen trauma wounds affect and show up in adult relationship?

Trauma wounds often show up in adult relationships in ways that can feel confusing or frustrating, both for the survivor and their partner. One of the most common patterns I see is fawning — people-pleasing or over-accommodating to keep the peace and feel safe. This can show up as saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” constantly seeking approval, or avoiding conflict even at personal cost. Other common patterns include emotional withdrawal, hypervigilance, or pushing people away before they can get too close, which is often the opposite protective strategy.

These behaviors are not character flaws; they’re survival strategies that worked in childhood but now get in the way of authentic connection. Trauma can also create heightened sensitivity to rejection, criticism, or abandonment, which may trigger overreactions or misunderstandings in relationships. Through IFS-informed coaching, I help clients recognize these patterns as protective parts rather than “broken” behaviors. Once they can understand and regulate their responses, they can start showing up more authentically — able to set boundaries, communicate needs, and engage in relationships from a place of safety rather than survival.

Ultimately, healing allows these patterns to shift from survival-based reactions into relational superpowers, like deep empathy, attuned listening, and conscious intimacy.

What’s your favorite question to ask clients that always gets them thinking more deeply or shift their perspective/understanding?

One of my favorite questions to ask clients is: “If this part of you that’s protecting you had a voice, what would it want you to know?” It’s simple, but it often shifts the conversation from judgment and frustration into curiosity and compassion. Many survivors spend years trying to push away or silence their protective parts — the hypervigilance, the dissociation, the critic — without realizing those parts are actually trying to help them survive.

When clients answer this question, they often start to see their patterns differently. Instead of labeling a reaction as “wrong” or “bad,” they can recognize it as a message: “I’m scared,” “I need safety,” or “I’m trying to protect you.” That shift alone can change how they respond in real time — instead of reacting automatically, they can pause, listen, and respond with both care and strategy. It’s one of those questions that invites clients to step into internal leadership, which is the heart of IFS work and transformative trauma healing.

If someone feels like they’re struggling, what's the first step you'd invite them to take?

The first step I invite someone to take when they feel like they’re struggling is to pause and check in with themselves, without judgment. I encourage clients to notice what’s happening in their body, thoughts, and emotions — not to fix it immediately, but simply to name it: “I feel tense,” “I feel scared,” or “I’m noticing my mind racing.” This small act of awareness is often overlooked, but it’s the foundation for all healing because it reconnects people with their internal experience.

From there, I often guide them to a simple grounding or self-soothing practice — something that helps the nervous system settle, like focused breathing, orienting to their surroundings, or even a short movement or stretch. I also invite curiosity about the part of them that’s struggling: “What is this part trying to protect or tell you?” By reframing the struggle as a message rather than a failure, clients begin to reclaim choice and agency in the moment.

This first step is never about perfection or forcing calm — it’s about building awareness, safety, and self-compassion so that each small pause becomes a stepping stone toward healing and thriving.

What your most powerful idea or lesson that you help your clients learn and understand through your work together?

The most powerful idea I help my clients understand is that healing doesn’t mean erasing or fixing the past — it means reclaiming choice and wholeness in the present. So often, survivors feel trapped by what happened to them, believing that their trauma defines them or limits the life they can have. My work shows them that those survival strategies were once protective, and they can now be transformed into tools for self-awareness and post-traumatic growth.

Through IFS-informed coaching and practical lifestyle design, clients learn to identify, communicate with, and even thank their protective parts instead of fighting them. They begin to see themselves not as broken or “too much,” but as complex, capable, and worthy of safety, joy, and connection. The lesson that truly shifts perspective is realizing that their capacity to thrive has always been inside them; trauma didn’t take it away, it just made it harder to access. Once clients grasp that, the work moves from survival mode into living fully — with curiosity, compassion, and freedom.

Conclusion

Healing from trauma isn’t about striving for perfection — it’s about learning to meet yourself with compassion and curiosity, one part at a time. The path to wholeness may not always be linear or easy, but it is deeply transformative. As Sara reminds us, every moment of awareness, every breath of self-kindness, and every small step toward safety within yourself is part of coming home.

When we begin to understand and care for the many parts of who we are, we open the door to authentic joy, trust, and connection — both within and in our relationships.

You can learn more about Sara’s work and her IFS-informed approach to trauma healing and lifestyle design at Full Circle Wellspring:

Full Circle Wellspring Website

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